Once again, I have survived the brown and orange bleakness of Thanksgiving. The cozy happiness through the window of Christmas. The kissing-couples and auld lang sine of another New Year's Eve. The pink, red, and white, chocolate-dipped-diamonds of Valentine's Day.
And this year, as of tomorrow at about 5am, I know I have survived a full year since being told no by the one man I could have belonged to. I don't feel I was rejected... hell, it was over five weeks between my question and his answer. I know what had gone on before, even a week prior, so I know it has nothing to do with whether I am "good enough" or "worthy".
I begin Philosophy on Tuesday. Would that he were here to discuss.
I am about to go check out a bead store on 4th Street. Ages ago there was one, and I loved going there and finding little trinkets, making my own little silly bits. I was perusing a few jewelry sites last night and though they are inexpensive, I wonder how much less it might cost me to make my own. I figure it shouldn't be a waste to try.
And on the subject of school, I still would like to take Chinese soon. Most likely Mandarin, as that seems to be more the universal language.
I applied finally for a Stafford Loan. I had always been given to understand you needed spotless credit or a cosigner for those, but it turns out not to be true. We'll see what happens.
I am restless. I am halfway through my three-day weekend. I am going to go look at the bead store now.
1 comment:
I love beading and making trinkets. I like the feeling that what I'm wearing is apart of me literally by either gift or personal design. I hope you have fun searching and then making them.
I hope you're doing well.
Thank you for the encouraging and caring messages you've sent during these last few weeks.
Always be as well as you can be,
~t
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